What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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That's not what she said.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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i love huge wieners.

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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