A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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wood cant chuck wood

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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knock knock come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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