How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

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Get in the Batmobile.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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You Know Wats Funny? Jokes....

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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