How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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96

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops