#scabbers

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

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A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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Proof reading

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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What do Jews suck? Because they lie, steal money, and start wars.

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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