Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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Dont you guys just hate it when someone puts a stupid joke on anti-joke?

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

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Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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fack me!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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