What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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whats black? a black man

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What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

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If you don't get this joke, you're gay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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42

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

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Pen15

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Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

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Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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Guess what.. chicken butt

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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