How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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How old is victor? Old

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

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How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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Joey mayer's face

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i got one question Screw You

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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Wanna hear a joke? Joe Jonas.

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do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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