Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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Did the Chicken cross the road? No the road moved the chicken across.

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

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There were 4 black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff. The sad thing was it was a nice car.

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Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly 10 consecutive times in the head with a knife.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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Q. how did the blond get a college degree in medicine? A. she studied hard and aced her final exam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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