Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Penis penis poop butt

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

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what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

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WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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Knock, Knock Come in

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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