two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

q

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Kelly Clarkson

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops