- Anti Joke

There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

Girls

Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

boobies oh boobies i how i love u boobies the are so juicy with milk and hairy with in the tities

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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