What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I'm so hot my father calls me son.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man bring the computer to the doctor because it had a virus

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Dick spice

thumb_up thumb_down +26

your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I have Alzheimer. What?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops