What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

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read this

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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