Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

where are you?

Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...