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Joay impistato is a fig

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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How old is victor? Old

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops