Whats an Anti Joke

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

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why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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knock knock Come in!!!

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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why did the asain hate his life he didn't he was living a good life with large amounts of money with a very hot wife

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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What's the difference between a cup of tea and a polar bear? A polar bear is a bear whilst a cup of tea is a beverage

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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