I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

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Scientology.

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The 13th Amendment...

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How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

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If u see a guy with a buzz cut and earrings what would u ask? R u a girl with cancer

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Samantha

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Joay impistato is a fig

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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Did you hear the one about the kid that farted in class? Cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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