Win and Beau have no friends

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

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Whats worse than 3 black people? 4 Black people

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

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What's 4+7 47

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What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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