Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Once I asked a Chinese girl , how do I look ? . She said you Europeans all look the same .

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

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What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops