A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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