Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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wood cant chuck wood

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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what do you get when you throw a refrigerator at a boy on a bike? a severely injured boy, a lawsuit , a police record and a prison mate

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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