Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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Chicken

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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Shut the cork up!

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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your a towel.

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Womens rights.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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47

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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