There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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What just hit my face? The floor

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

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bitches be crafty.

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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