Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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