Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

thumb_up thumb_down +175

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

thumb_up thumb_down +25

British Dentistry

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yidi Huang lives here.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I dont no the difference between their and there

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

thumb_up thumb_down -38

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

thumb_up thumb_down -44

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops