What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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