Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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matt shut up

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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