What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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What's black, white and red all over? Multi- racial genocide.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

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A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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ObamaCare

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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pizzano is a tool.

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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