Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

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What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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A seal walks into a club.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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