A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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Why do the cangaroos are weird? cause they have testicles in front and penis back, is real!

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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