1 Jew XD

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops