Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

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What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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PUDDING

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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WNBA

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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