Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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What's really weird? It's you Greg!

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A lady with no legs walked..... never mind

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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Woman.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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Your time.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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So. The gays. ...

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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What's the difference between God and Kanye West? God doesn't think he's Kanye West.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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