Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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Why did that guy die? because the SS thought he was a jew.

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Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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