What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

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Meow.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Spotto

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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A blonde walks into a library. She is a commerce major.

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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What's 4+7 47

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Vagina ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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