Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

for keeps?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops