The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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What did the mentally retarted student get on his SAT? Drool

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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Hashtag

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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What did Anne Frank get for christmas? Nothing Anne Frank is jewish.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

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"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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