Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's 6 + 9? 15.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Steven Yuhasz is so homosexual, he has sexual intercourse with other men and enjoys it. <33

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +14

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down +14

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops