How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

thumb_up thumb_down +38

twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is White over Black? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's red and hurts you? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops