no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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A black and a mexican jump off a building, What a tragedy...

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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A blond, a brunnet and a read head all fall off a cliif, wich one did not die They all died you idiots

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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