I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

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Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Q: who's Snow White's brother A: egg white Get the yolk!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road it didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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A Mexican walks up to a fence in Texas and watches as the police take away his next door neighbor for tax evasion.

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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