Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous and could cause much harm if handled without prior knowledge of how to use them.

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Muslim athletes.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

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Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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