What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Absolutely nothing considering millions of people perished and you people think its funny!

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One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Proof reading

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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