What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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Are you a human?

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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