toast points

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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