roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

do you wanna hear a joke about pizza? sure. naw,its too cheesy

Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

A pedophile walks into a daycare

What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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