A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

Mmmmmmmmbutch

Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off. haha its funny

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...