Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Niki Minaj's ass

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your mother hates you

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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