Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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your a towel.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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knock knock who's there aids

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47

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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