why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

Somewhere over the rainbow.... Is land.

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

A black guy WALKS out of prison.

A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

What did one llama say to the other llama when they were on vacation? I filled our luggage with orphan meat because i'm building a meat dragon and not just any meat will do.

a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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