Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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Dubstep < Music

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Q: Why did the rich Wallstreet business man move into Harlem? A: Because sex offenders weren't welcome anywhere else.

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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why was the boy running? because his skin was burning off

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

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HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS fred

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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why were Tamika and Tyron afraid to get into the water? They weren't

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Q. how did the blond get a college degree in medicine? A. she studied hard and aced her final exam.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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Bake until golden at 375

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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