Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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69

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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q

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Have you seen the movie "Constipation?" No. It hasn't come out yet! Of course there is no such movie in production and no plans for such a movie exist.

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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