Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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where are you?

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why do you go to a black mans yardsale? To buy something cheap. Why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because it is illegal.

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

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How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican were stranded in a giant dessert, They were quick to notice the spelling error and ate happily for a few days

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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