A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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Hearpin my durp

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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q

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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