What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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Hearpin my durp

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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the cast of the jersey shore

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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